Kiss It Better
by Shusoka
Summary: Tsuzuki and Hisoka spend the Christmas holidays together but not all of it is as happy as it seems. Something upsets Hisoka and Tsuzuki makes it his job to help cheer him up. Fluffy bits! I suck at summaries. Just R&R. First YnM FF! (Ace of Time helped)


Authors note:  
  
Okay, I'm sure all you know I did not create Yami no Matsuei so I do not own the characters. Another thing I wanted to add is that at least 50% of this stories credit should go to my best friend, Ace of Time. She helped me write this. Me made it in a rp, although I altered a few things. I hope you like this- it's long and has fluffy parts. hope not too fluffy. Hisoka + Tsuzuki. No like shouen-ai? Why are you reading Yami no Matsuei fanfics then? O_o  
  
Kiss it Better  
  
By Ksher4000 (Hisoka and fix-ups, which you would not notice at all) and Ace of Time (Tsuzuki)  
  
~*~*~  
  
Lost deep into his book, Hisoka read outside, blind to the beauty beyond it that was around him. He sat on a bench under a tree bare of leaves. Snow dusted the branches and could be was blown away like a mist when a strong enough breeze past by. White covered the ground and the air was fresh. He did not even notice how cold it was but he sure had an ear when it came to the small crunch of snow under Tsuzuki's footsteps. The steps were spaced out and attempting to be to be as quiet as possible, as if he was trying to sneak up on him.  
  
"I know you are there, Tsuzuki-san," he said without his eyes lifting from the page.  
  
Seeing that he was caught, he gave up and walked up behind him. He crossed his arms and leaned against the bench looking over his shoulder. He gave up trying to read the small printing, took the book from his hand, and flipped it upside down- as if it would help. "What are you reading?"  
  
Hisoka gave a long sigh, "A book." He took it back from him and closed it. He would find his place later. "What do you want?"  
  
Although the reply was cold, Tsuzuki smiled as if he had his hopes up. "Want to get something to eat with me?"  
  
"I'm not hungry. . ." He said but changed his mind once he got the puppy look, "but I'll still go."  
  
"Ssankyou!" he clapped happily and walked around to the front of the bench as Hisoka stood and stretched. Although he had a very good estimate of where he wanted to eat, he waited for Tsuzuki to take the lead.  
  
They left together to get a snack- and as usual Tsuzuki had ordered a huge pile of deserts and Hisoka only got a tiny fraction compared to him. Even though it was small, it satisfied him. He nibbled on it slowly to bide time so they could finish all at once.  
  
"Want some-" he swallowed, "Hisoka-kun?"  
  
He shook his head, refusing the forkful of cake.  
  
He just shrugged and popped it into his mouth. "More for me then!"  
  
"I'm surprised you're not fat," Hisoka mumbled to himself.  
  
Even though he had heard, he took no offence to it. He smiled instead, "that is the joy of being a Shinigami- you don't grow!" At that, he stuffed another fork into his mouth.  
  
Hisoka opened his mouth to throw the usual insult 'baka' at him but he did not bother this time. He just leaned back in his chair and laid his hands on the table that they were sitting at. He poked at his unfinished food but did not eat anymore since he was finished. He allowed his eyes to wander to the window. Eventually he caught himself watching a skater swerve down the frozen lake.  
  
"Hisoka?" He turned when he heard his name.  
  
"Are you okay?" Tsuzuki asked.  
  
It was then he noticed he had been calling him for a little while already. He shook his head as if to clear it, "I'm fine."  
  
Tsuzuki looked to where he was to see what had stolen his attention. "Ah. do you want to go skating?"  
  
He sunk back in his chair a bit more. "Not really."  
  
Tsuzuki did not really trust his words. It was probably because he wanted to go skating himself, so he insisted, "Why not?"  
  
"I-I don't know how to skate." Hisoka answered, blushing to admit it. "It looks fun though."  
  
He smiled. For once, he had an interest in something other then books and work. "That is okay," he dropped his fork onto the side of his plate, "I'll teach you!"  
  
"You would do that for me?" He asked to make sure.  
  
"Anything for 'Soka-chan."  
  
"Don't call me that," he sharply added, ruining their little moment.  
  
"Fine." He grumbled but quickly moved on, "We can rent some skates down at the lake." He did not bother to ask if he was finished since he could tell he was. Once they paid for their lunch, they left.  
  
Hisoka did not talk very much on their walk to the rink. He was slightly nervous but hid it well with his other feelings and emotions.  
  
It took only a few minuets for Tsuzuki to come back with the skates. Hisoka took his pair and put them on without any trouble. He stood up slowly. Standing still was already a challenge. His ankles bent inward and he wobbled constantly.  
  
Tsuzuki helped him before he fell. He already had his on and seemed to have no troubles at all. "Walking to the ice is probably the hardest part. Let me help you." He took his arm and slowly walked.  
  
"I'll be fine on my own." He coldly said as he took his arm back but proved himself wrong as he fell. He cursed, having a new pessimistic look on skating already. Tsuzuki could not help but laugh, drawing a glare from him. "Take it easy. No one gets it on the first try."  
  
"I haven't even reached the ice and I already messed up!" He took the hand that Tsuzuki offered and got up.  
  
Tsuzuki was patient with him, just hoping that Hisoka could be patient with himself and not get frustrated after a few falls. They finally reached the ice. Hisoka paused there and waited for any instructions before he jumped ahead of himself.  
  
Noticing the pause, Tusuzuki started to explain, "Try to keep your feet positioned right or they will hurt a lot. Also the quicker you move the less likely you are to fall. Don't worry about falling though, that'll just make it worse. When you do fall, I will help you. Sometimes it is easier to stay near the edges of the rink when you are first learning. For one you will fall on something soft and you can avoid other skaters." He continued with little tips.  
  
Hisoka nodded, absorbing as much information as he could. He started to skate slowly. He stumbled randomly but caught himself. Once he got the hang of the foot movements, he quickened up.  
  
Tsuzuki skated, carefully, near him incase he needed help.  
  
Still keeping it in a straight line, Hisoka took it to the next step and went a bit faster, "This is not so hard."  
  
"I think you have it," He commented.  
  
Hisoka noticed a snow bank advancing him and attempted to slow down. He forgot everything Tsuzuki told him about brakes. "Tsuzu-" Before he could even finish calling him for help, he ended up falling face-first into it.  
  
Tsuzuki decided it would be best not to laugh. He gently pulled Hisoka up after he'd stopped. "Are you all right, 'Soka-chan?" Tsuzuki asked softly, gently brushing some of the snow of Hisoka's face.  
  
"Cold!" he whimpered as he took over to brush the rest off with his sleeve. He crossed his arms as he heard some kids laughing at him. "I hate skating. . ."  
  
"Hisoka, it's something you have to have patience with. If you don't keep trying you're not going to get it. Let the kids laugh; they have fallen into snow face-first probably when they started to learn as well. They don't laugh necessarily because of it happening to you, but probably more because they remember it happening to them," Tsuzuki reassured with a cheery smile. "Come on, try again, I'll help you brake and turn this time."  
  
"You're just saying that!" he stubbornly said. He then softened, "I'll give it  
  
another try."  
  
"I'm not just saying that," Tsuzuki said, for a moment the smile and all happiness had disappeared, but it reappeared soon afterwards. "That's right, you will," Tsuzuki said. "Now, try again, and I'll help you more." Tsuzuki this time told Hisoka how to brake, but told him that he needed to do it slowly or else he would fall.  
  
Hisoka made pointless and meaningless complaints but he was really enjoying  
  
it, because not only it was fun, but also he had more time to spend with Tsuzuki. He figured out the brakes but it only worked for him twenty percent of the time. He eventually fell again. He grabbed onto Tsuzuki's arm for support but ended up dragging him down with him.  
  
Tsuzuki squeaked, but laughed when they'd both fallen. "Are you all right?" he asked, just to make sure Hisoka hadn't hurt himself at all.  
  
"I'm fine- you?" Hisoka paused, just noticing that he had actually asked  
  
Tsuzuki how he felt.  
  
Tsuzuki raised an eyebrow. "I'm fine. . ."  
  
Hisoka got up and decided to give Tsuzuki a hand since it was his fault they  
  
fell. "Gomen."  
  
He smiled and laughed as he got up.  
  
They spent the rest of the afternoon skating, Hisoka finally caught on and  
  
became okay at it- thanks to his help.  
  
"My feet are starting to hurt- mind if we stop?" he asked, wanting his opinion. He did not want to leave if Tsuzuki did not get enough yet.  
  
"I don't mind," he answered and skated back to the bench, "I'll walk you home."  
  
"I don't want you to walk alone from my house to your own. I'll walk you home." Hisoka said as he started to untie his laces.  
  
"Are you worried about me?"  
  
Hisoka instantly blushed, "No. Why would I be?!" He started to fight with his laces. He cursed and dropped them as if giving up.  
  
Once again, he smiled. "They are just as stubborn as you are. Here," Tsuzuki took his foot and started to untie the knot he created. "I don't want you to walk alone ether."  
  
Hisoka did not reply; he was still slightly pissed off at his laces so he did not feel like talking.  
  
"I know- why don't you stay over tonight at my place?" he offered.  
  
Hisoka blinked and blushed at the thought.  
  
"I'll take that as a yes!" He smiled as he pulled off both his skates and even put his shoes on for him.  
  
Hisoka could not help but feel like a child. Tsuzuki was partially doing everything for him so he insisted on returning the skates- even though it was not that big of a deal.  
  
It was already getting dark out. During the winter, the days seemed much shorter since the sun set earlier. Even though the last events allowed them to warm up to each other, not much conversation was brought up on their walk to Tsuzuki's house. He attempted many times but only got one-word answers in return. It was his turn to make a sigh of failure. He briefly glanced over at the blond boy, wondering what he was thinking about to make him so quiet all of a sudden. He figured he was just tired or something.  
  
Tsuzuki gave one more glance when he noticed movement in him other then walking. Hisoka had moved his hands up to rub his cold arms. He was shivering. The clothes he wore did not look that warm ether. Why had he not noticed before?  
  
"You ought to start dressing warmer, you'll freeze!" he said, removing his trench coat he draped it over Hisoka.  
  
He finally got his attention. "I'll be fine- you can keep your coat."  
  
"I don't want you to catch a cold," he said as he adjusted it on his shoulders.  
  
"What about you. wont you get cold?"  
  
He was silent since he knew he probably would.  
  
Hisoka grabbed the front of his coat and pulled it around him like a blanket rather then using it for its original purpose. "Thank you."  
  
The conversation died once again but now the silence was more comfortable then the one before. Even though nothing was said, they both enjoyed each other's company.  
  
Hisoka looked up to the darkened sky. Stars were beginning to shine though already. "I like stars." he murmured absentmindedly as he watched them. He normally would not confront his personal feelings and say them aloud but he felt comfortable enough around him.  
  
"Me to, they are absolutely beautiful. . ." Tsuzuki said. "I'm glad you're out here with me, Hisoka. Usually I walk around to look at them by myself. . . it gets lonely."  
  
Hisoka gave him a sad look, as if to say he was sorry for not being there but the words would not form from his mouth. He started to stare at the ground in front of himself because he knew looking at him would make him feel guilty.  
  
"I do enjoy your company though, Hisoka," Tsuzuki said, patting Hisoka's shoulder lightly. "I'm glad you wanted to learn how to skate, as well. I really enjoyed teaching you."  
  
"I'm surprised to hear that," he said, "all my old teachers disliked me." He did not seem bothered by this memory though. "Well, most adults. my parents." He moved on quickly, "I enjoyed you teaching me as well. Thanks."  
  
"How could anyone dislike you?" Tsuzuki asked. "Sure, you don't express your emotions. . . but. . . you're easy to talk to. Even if you seem scared to trust other people, people seem to trust you quite easily."  
  
"You don't have to say that. . ." Hisoka said, but listened.  
  
"But it's true, 'Soka-chan. Haven't you noticed? Everyone comes to you when they need to talk," Tsuzuki said. "And yet you go to no one. . ."  
  
"You don't express your negative feelings. . ." Hisoka added but stopped there before he turned the topic so it focused on him. He did not want to make him feel uncomfortable but it was too late.  
  
"I know I don't, Hisoka," Tsuzuki said seriously, "But I have my reasons for it. You all know what they are, too."  
  
"I just want you to know that you can talk to me if you need anyone to listen," he said, "just like you mentioned yourself."  
  
He hesitated to continue but nodded. "As for you, Hisoka: You only ever express negative feelings. . . I don't want to make you feel bad or anything, but it's true. It doesn't please any of us at the office, but. . . we all care about you, you're a good listener, we all know we can talk to you."  
  
He was silent.  
  
Tsuzuki stared ahead for a while as they walked.  
  
The silence between them made Hisoka very uncomfortable. To ease the tense he looked back to the sky. His eyes were drawn to the moon, which just came out from hiding behind clouds. He slowed to a stop.  
  
Tsuzuki didn't notice for a moment, and when he noticed his younger partner no longer beside him, he stopped, spinning around to look for him, his eyes falling on Hisoka. The violet orbs followed Hisoka's gaze, and he frown, slowly walking back to him.  
  
Hisoka could no longer look at it. He continued to walk again, lost in thought. He passed Tsuzuki. He did not even bother to wait for him.  
  
That made Tsuzuki feel hurt, and he scampered after him. He caught up and walked alongside him again. "Hisoka, Are you okay?"  
  
He slowly shook his head. Even though it was not a reply in words, he was at least giving notice to him. He took a deep sigh as if trying to calm himself, but it did not seem to work. He usually never reacted this way when he saw that red moon, the same one on the night he died, but it hit him hard this time. . . he did not know why.  
  
"Come on Hisoka. we are almost there." He said softly as he watched him with worried eyes. Hisoka weakly nodded in agreement.  
  
Tsuzuki frown still, and gently led Hisoka back to his apartment. It was small, slightly cramped but cozy and well lived in. Once they were inside, Tsuzuki hung up his trench coat after Hisoka's taken it off and he locked the door. "Make yourself at home. You want to borrow some clothes you can sleep in?" Tsuzuki asked softly. He coughed a couple of times quietly.  
  
He nodded again. He refused to talk. No matter how hard he tried, he could not push it aside. He did not want to make Tsuzuki feel bad though.  
  
Tsuzuki led Hisoka to his room. He dug around in one of the drawers, pulling out something Hisoka could use as PJs. He handed them to him. "You can change in here. I'll change in the bathroom. You can sleep in here too, I'd much rather sleep on the couch. I always do anyhow, that's why the bed isn't messy," he said, as he grabbed his own PJs and went to the bathroom to change, shutting the door.  
  
Sure enough, the bed was made and Tsuzuki's room looked like he never went in it, considering every other room Tsuzuki seemed to go in ended up looking like a tornado went through.  
  
Hisoka picked up the clothes he left limply in one hand. He watched the door where he left, As if to expect Tsuzuki to come back. He sighed. He did not really want to be alone but if he wanted to sleep couch he would not stop him. He got changed and sat on the end of his bed. The clothes were very baggy on him but very comfy.  
  
He noticed a little teddy bear sitting on his pillows. He picked it up gently; it looked very fragile and old. The head was already half torn off. One black eye was missing but was replaced with a lime green button. Random patches of un-matching fabric and stitches where adjusted. It smelt like Tsuzuki (as Ace of Time would say- cookies) The stuffing inside of it was flattened from many years of hugs.  
  
Once Tsuzuki was changed, he came out of the bathroom. He walked in to where Hisoka was. "You have a good sleep, all right? Try not to think of something that would give you any nightmares," Tsuzuki said with genuine concern, as he gave Hisoka a gentle hug before releasing him and standing. It was then he noticed he was holding the bear.  
  
Hisoka did not mention anything about him wanting to stay. He was a bit shy when it came to that. He finally spoke though. "It looks loved," he added, referring to the toy.  
  
"He is. His name is Hi-" he paused before he slipped, "I got him a long time ago, before I could remember. You can sleep with him if you want." he smiled sheepishly. "He should make you feel better. . . sometimes cuddling with stuffed animals can do that."  
  
"I hope your right. . . thanks." He said hugging it loosely in his arms. "Tsuzuki. . ." he called quietly although he did not know what to tell him. He shook his head as if to say 'never mind'.  
  
"If you need anything, you've been here before you know where it is," Tsuzuki said. "If you want something, you can ask me. Feel free to wake me up, ne? Goodnight 'Soka-chan, sweet dreams," he said with a smile, leaving the room. He left the door open, however, in case Hisoka wanted to call him or something.  
  
"Goodnight. . ." he quietly replied as he watched him leave. He pulled his feet onto the bed and crawled over the top where he climbed inside after turning off the lights. He hugged the small bear close. He never knew a simple toy could help so much. Even if it barely made a difference to his feelings, it made him feel more comfortable. It was they toy he never had growing up.  
  
Tsuzuki turned off the rest of the lights as he got onto the couch, pulling a blanket he'd gotten to cover himself, huddling up under it for warmth. He felt cold. He coughed a few times and pulled the blankets up to his chin.  
  
Hisoka had heard and instantly thought back to Tsuzuki giving him his coat. He felt bad for taking it. . . it was his fault he was coughing. He left the warm bed and started to search some small medicine cabinets for some cough syrup in the bathroom. He finally found the bottle and a spoon. (don't ask where he got the spoon- I have no clue) He walked out and peeked around the corner to see if he was still awake. He did not want to disturb his sleep, even though he guessed he was up.  
  
Tsuzuki shifted uncomfortably, glaring at the ceiling as he rubbed his chest slightly, since the coughing slightly hurt.  
  
"Tsuzuki-san," Hisoka came out a bit further. He was subconsciously playing  
  
with the cap to the bottle, "are you feeling okay?"  
  
"No," he said, knowing he wouldn't be able to lie easily to his younger partner. He looked towards Hisoka and sat up.  
  
Hisoka walked over slowly and sat on the couch, still trying to open the childproof bottle. It took him a moment but he finally got it. He poured some purple liquid into the spoon. "Open up. It's flavored grape- It has sugar. You will like it."  
  
"Cough syrup. . ." Tsuzuki mumbled and did as he was told.  
  
He put the spoon into his mouth and took it out once he swallowed. "Good job.  
  
Get better, okay? I don't want to worry about you anymore. . ."  
  
"I'm sorry," Tsuzuki said apologetically.  
  
"Why? You can't help being sick. It's my fault for letting you give me your coat anyways. . . I should be the one apologizing," he said putting the medicine on the end table next to the couch.  
  
"I didn't want you to get sick," Tsuzuki said, shivering slightly as he lay down again, bundled up in the blanket.  
  
"How would you feel if I got sick?" Hisoka asked but did not expect an answer, "That is how I feel right now. . ." he noticed his shivering, "Want me to get you another blanket?"  
  
"I don't know if it would help much, maybe though. . . could you?" Tsuzuki asked.  
  
Hisoka nodded and went off to get him one. He came back and tucked him in with it, even though he was still sitting up. He sat down next to him, "any better?"  
  
"A little. . ."  
  
He noticed his bare feet and put his feet on top of his. They were cold but that just made him keep them on. He moved leaned against him as if he was a pillow since he was still sleepy. Even though he still was depresses he was in a very rare snuggly mood.  
  
Tsuzuki looked at Hisoka, slightly surprised. After a few minutes, his shivering became less and less until it eventually stopped.  
  
Hisoka was slowly drifting off to sleep, not noticing it though. If he did he would have gotten up and left to Tsuzuki's bed. He tucked his head under his chin, finding it most comfortable there.  
  
Tsuzuki shifted slightly and put some of the blanket around Hisoka as well. He rested his head on top of his as he had placed them, starting to fall asleep himself. By that time Hisoka was already asleep so he lay down, making Hisoka making lay down with him as well, an arm around him to keep him close as he soon fell asleep.  
  
Morning came eventually. Hisoka slowly awoke to the sun pouring into the room. He blinked a few times and slowly moved out of his arms. He then got up silently to avoid waking him up from his peaceful sleep. He glanced back at Tsuzuki. . . he looked so lonely without something in his arms. He walked back to his room where he left his bear and picked it up. His fingers traced the broken stitches where the head was falling off. He then decided that he would fix it up. . . for Tsuzuki-san.  
  
Tsuzuki pulled his arm to himself but, since Hisoka had moved, there was no Hisoka to bring closer. All he got were the blankets where Hisoka had formerly been resting. He frown slightly in his sleep, but did not wake.  
  
Hisoka finished the last stitch on the toy and brought it out to him. He slowly slipped it into Tsuzuki's arms.  
  
Tsuzuki hugged the bear when he got it, and smiled slightly in his sleep, burying his face in the back of the bear's head for warmth mostly.  
  
Hisoka did not smile but seeing this made him slightly happy. It was cute. Even he thought so. He decided to go back to Tsuzuki's room to get dressed.  
  
Tsuzuki slept soundly for a while longer. When he finally woke, it was because he couldn't breathe since his face was buried in the bear. He noticed Hisoka wasn't with him. He rubbed his tired eyes and ran a hand through his hair before getting up, his hair sticking up at strange angles. He walked to the bathroom, cleaning his face.  
  
Hisoka heard the water run and sat up. He had found his book and was reading that on Tsuzuki's bed. He got up and walked out of the room, leaving his book behind.  
  
"Good morning Soka-chan!" Tsuzuki called as he noticed him.  
  
"Morning. . ." he noticed him call him 'Soka-chan' again but he did not argue,  
  
as much as he hated it. He was not in the mood.  
  
"I feel better this morning, thanks to you," Tsuzuki said. "How are you feeling this morning? You were awfully sad last night. . ."  
  
Hisoka did not answer. He did not know what to tell him.  
  
"Hisoka. . ." Tsuzuki was standing in front of him, looking down at him.  
  
He looked back up at him, then to the side. He sighed in replacement of his unspoken words.  
  
He frowned but decided he would help try to cheer him up. "Help me make breakfast. . .?" Tsuzuki asked. "I doubt you'd want to eat my cooking, and I'm scared of Tatsumi. . . I don't want him yelling at me for spending too much."  
  
Hisoka seemed willing enough to follow along. Although he was withdrawn to any conversation, he still enjoyed his company. It was hard to find anything edible without a ton of sugar in it. . . they resorted to muffins, as sweet as they are, since they were not topped with icing or sprinkles. (Hisoka's version of one at least) It was much easier since nether of them had to cook as well.  
  
Tsuzuki yawned squeaking slightly as he did so.  
  
As cute as it was, Hisoka made nothing of it. He barely heard him. even pay attention at the least. He placed his muffin down. He was hungry but he could not eat.  
  
Tsuzuki noticed this: seeing his partner so upset made sad. He no longer felt like eating himself, surprisingly. He knew this was getting nowhere so he decided to invite him out. "Let's go so something together," he got no reply. "Hisoka?" he whined softly. This was a rather awkward situation; last night he seemed find to him. perhaps he was hiding his feelings with a mask.  
  
"Fine," Hisoka said but only for his sake.  
  
It was obvious but he still grasped the opportunity. "Come on," he led him outside and walked around for a while, just enjoying the beautiful season.  
  
They day was cool and the sun lit up the snow to a bright white. Winter winds brushed by chapping their lips and added moist to the air.  
  
Tsuzuki's hands dug deep into his pockets, clenched for warmth. Luckily they were both dressed for the weather this trip out. He refused to let Hisoka leave without bundling him up with a sweater and a scarf first.  
  
Instead of seeing the delights of the day, Hisoka just saw the coldness as an obstacle that distracted him to a point where it was annoying. "What do you have planned anyways?" he asked, even though he did not really care.  
  
"I'm not sure," Tsuzuki answered. "It'll just be a surprise for both of us, ne?"  
  
Hisoka admired how optimistic Tsuzuki was. . . or at least seemed. "I guess so," he mumbled, being rather quiet.  
  
Tsuzuki stopped once they reached a small clearing. The nature around them was breath taking. The trees looked so soft with the fluffy snow resting upon it. Small icicles formed off the tips of the branches. The sun glittered through them like crystals. The snow on the ground was perfect. Nothing had ruined it with footprints.  
  
Hisoka was blind to the things around him. He barely lifted his head to view it. Not seeming to care very much he walked on.  
  
Tusuzuki sighed and did not say anything. He would try something else. For a moment he though Watari would have some answers. He could pull something together and help lift his spirits! It then occurred: unless he had something to erase his memory, he could not help him.  
  
Maybe he could help him by taking his mind off that night and focus it to something else. but what?  
  
Hisoka could read his emotions without even needing contact with him. He used no magic but he could tell he was growing upset. Something was bothering him so he kept a close eye over him; oblivious to the fact it was he was worrying over him.  
  
Tsuzuki ended up taking Hisoka to lunch after a while, remembering they both skipped breakfast. Even then, he did not want anything. This made him worry. Even though they were both unhappy at the moment, Tsuzuki did not want to resolve it by going home. Home just made him realize how lonely he was, since home to him was being alone most of the time.  
  
Instead, they ended up walking a bit more; it was the only thing they could do. He offered to take him to an arcade but he never seemed interested in video games. No shows caught his interest ether. He did not even want to give skating another chance. He almost lost all hope.  
  
Tsuzuki eventually slowed, stopping. He remembered something from before as he searched his pockets for something, pulling out a ginger bread man. "Here Hisoka, I didn't cook it, Tatsumi did, but I did decorate it. I meant to give it to you a couple of days ago, but we got busy and I forgot about it," he said. The gingerbread man had green eyes, and was the only one of the two of them to be smiling at the moment. A candy cane was in the packaging with the gingerbread man.  
  
Hisoka noticed the tiny resemblance between the gingerbread man and himself- by the eye colour. The fact that he was on his mind was sweet. . . but he could not take it. "I don't deserve it." he said rather weakly, "you are always so kind to me but I'm so cold to you. . . to everyone. You even said it yourself before. How can you all tolerate me? You do such nice things, even go out of your way for. . . ungrateful people like me." he added on, noticing he just refused his gift.  
  
Tsuzuki thrust the gingerbread man into Hisoka's arms though. It didn't break. He shook his head, a weak smile played on his face. "'Soka-chan, you're my friend. Even if you show nothing, you're willing to just sit with me when I'm upset, or try new things if I encourage you enough. You are willing to tolerate me and my idiocy. You haven't quit being my partner yet, you're my best friend, 'Soka-chan. It's no trouble to do these things for you. Sure, sometimes I do them in hopes that you'll show some emotion other than anger or hurt once in a while, but hey, you're always there. You always listen if I want to talk, even if you have no comforting words to say. And that's comforting in itself, 'Soka-chan," Tsuzuki was still weakly smiling when he finished his honest speech. "Merry early Christmas"  
  
Tsuzuki still had his hands on the gingerbread man, just to keep Hisoka from dropping it until he was sure Hisoka had a grip on it so it wouldn't fall. "More than just time went into making that for you, 'Soka-chan. It's my thank you for you always being there."  
  
"Tsuzuki. . ." he was at loss for words. He gently took the gingerbread man, but now with meaning behind it he did not want to ruin it by eating it. For now, he just let his finger trace some of the little decorations on it. "You never see the bad in people, do you?"  
  
"I do, but it's not the first thing I look for," Tsuzuki said, slightly happier now.  
  
"Not only just that, but you always seemed happy- even if you are hurt inside. It helps other people move on and enjoy your company. That is why you attract so many people as friends. I don't know one person that dislikes you." He added, feeling it was his turn to return the compliments but he spoke the truth. He then paused, remembering something. "It's not like I forgot about you though. . ." he rummaged through his pocket to look for something but found slight difficulty. He cursed slightly as he tried his other pocket.  
  
"I was going to give this on Christmas, but now seems like a good time," Hisoka finally found the little homemade plushie and held it out to him, "I tried to make it look like you but something it missing. . . I don't know what."  
  
Tsuzuki gasped, rather loudly like he did when he was surprised. "Sssankyou!" he hugged Hisoka tightly before releasing him and taking the plushie.  
  
"Ah. . ." he said quietly in a blush.  
  
Carefully Tsuzuki set the toy in his trench coat pockets. He kept it at least somewhat sticking out of his pocket; not enough to fall out, just enough to slightly see it.  
  
Hisoka put the gingerbread man away moments after Tsuzuki did. He slowly pulled his sleeve a bit further down his arm, trying to hide something.  
  
Tsuzuki noticed, but. . . it was Hisoka, even if he asked he was not likely to find out. "Want to keep walking, or want me to take you home?" Tsuzuki asked.  
  
He would much rather continue his walk with Hisoka so that he could see if he was all right yet. Moreover, if he wasn't; he'd continue his little charade of attempting to cheer him up as best he could. He hated seeing people unhappy, especially his partner.  
  
"You wouldn't mind walking a bit longer?" he asked shyly, "I would rather not be alone right now. . ."  
  
"I wouldn't mind," Tsuzuki said. "It's not like I have anything important to do."  
  
After thanking him, the conversation died on his half. His walk was rather slower then usual, but it rarely meant anything.  
  
Tsuzuki wasn't against slowing down to walk with Hisoka. He was just acting like a kid at the moment, hoping from square-to-square on the sidewalk, or seeing how far he could jump. His violet eyes were fixed on the sidewalk pretty much, but he occasionally looked up to make sure he didn't bump into anyone, anything, or lose Hisoka.  
  
Hisoka found his childish behavior entertaining rather then annoying this one time. He would warn him if something was coming up but did not ask him to stop.  
  
Tsuzuki jumped one last time, spinning around when he did so, landing on his feet in front of Hisoka, facing Hisoka. "I'm done now," he said.  
  
"Thanks- you were starting to get weird looks from other people." he mumbled but was not bothered.  
  
"Who, me?" Tsuzuki asked innocently. "Why would they be looking at me? Just because I am an 'adult' doesn't mean I have to be mature, does it, 'Soka- chan? They may have been looking at you. You've got pretty eyes."  
  
Hisoka just threw him a meaningless glare, "Enough with the flattery. It's you, Tsuzuki."  
  
"Is it really flattery if it's an honest remark? But yeah, I know they were staring at me," Tsuzuki said, stuffing his hands in his pockets and pouting slightly.  
  
Hisoka rolled his eyes, "Baka."  
  
Tsuzuki frowned. He then began to walk with Hisoka again, this time behaving and silent. He thought, hard, trying to think of maybe something else he could do to cheer up Hisoka. He had a feeling Hisoka still wasn't happy.  
  
Seeing he was taking his insult a bit hard he decided to clear himself up, "You remind me a lot like a child at times. . . It's scary."  
  
"Hmm. . ." Tsuzuki said, he was mixed up in his own thoughts, so he hadn't really heard him.  
  
Hisoka had noticed but did not bother to repeat himself. He left him to his thoughts as he went to his own, even though he was trying to avoid them. It constantly reminded him of horrible things. His arms and chest burnt, taking his mind off the cold weather. He slowly rubbed the red markings from the spell Muraki had drawn on him. Every time that night came to mind it bothered him slightly. . . it was slowly getting worse though.  
  
Now that he was focused on the markings, it only got worse. They appeared and faded, depending on how much attention he fed it. His breathing was starting to grow heavy. He quickly forced his mind to something else: Tsuzuki.  
  
He was trying to help him so much and stuck by him despite every event. He was truly a loyal friend. How lucky he was to just even know him.  
  
Tsuzuki looked towards Hisoka. He looked very upset, clearly he'd been thinking deeply, even if it was only perhaps 10 minutes or so. He could feel his eyes stinging as he watched Hisoka. He wanted to help, ooh he desperately wanted to help, but didn't know what to do. He had tried, and failed. It made his chest feel tight. He'd failed in making Hisoka happy.  
  
Tsuzuki eventually stopped walking, sitting down on a bench. He was watching Hisoka, wondering if he had even noticed. He rested his feet on the bench as well, hugging his knees, as he buried his face in his knees.  
  
".Tsuzuki?" Hisoka called softly, his voice weak as he tried to hide his panting. He stopped and took a few steps back towards him but gave him the distance he needed. Tsuzuki didn't respond; his shoulders were shaking slightly.  
  
"Tsuzuki?" He repeated, his voice was stronger this time since he was now worried. "Are you okay. . .?"  
  
Tsuzuki didn't want to answer that question since, he knew Hisoka would know he was crying by the soft tone of his voice. He sniffed slightly. "It's just. . ."  
  
He slowly took a seat next to him, listening to what he had to say. He could feel his sadness. . . it was very strong and he felt for some reason he blamed himself.  
  
Tsuzuki was trying hard not to cry. "It's just that, every time you're upset, I always try to cheer you up. . . you're even more upset than usual this time, I don't know why, I don't understand," Tsuzuki spoke softly. "I'm trying, this is as hard as I can try to cheer you up, and it isn't working. I can't do it."  
  
Hisoka had no clue he was trying that hard. He had hints but he did not know it meant so much to him. Guilt built up inside him in a matter of seconds. Tsuzuki had been trying to help him and now he had made him cry. It was his turn to cheer him up now. "I would tell you but I wish I could understand why myself. I don't know what to say. Right now I'm just confused. . . I'll be fine though. Don't worry about me."  
  
"Hisoka, bottling up emotions isn't good for you. The least you could do is outright come out and say you're upset or something if you are. . . at least tell me," Tsuzuki said. "And no, you aren't fine. I can tell, I may act like an idiot most of the time but that doesn't mean I'm stupid."  
  
"I.I. . ." He did not know how to express himself but right now, if that is what Tsuzuki wanted to hear then he would let him know the truth. "Recently I have been reminded of the night I died. . . It's just hard to take. You have died as well, so I know you can understand where I'm coming from." He finally showed him the markings that he had been trying to hide, even though he had seen them before. "They burn but I can tolerate it." He was silent for a moment, "Tsuzuki. are you going to be okay? I'm sorry."  
  
"Only if you're going to be all right," Tsuzuki said as he raised his head to look at Hisoka. His face was tearstained but he'd pretty well stopped crying now, although his eyes were still a little watery.  
  
"I will be," he reassured as he stood to face him, but he knew that just saying it would not be quite convincing. Right now, they both could use some cheering up.  
  
A simple game.  
  
Hisoka pelted him with a snowball and then innocently started to kick the ground as if he was not paying attention to him. "It wasn't me."  
  
Tsuzuki was surprised, and wiped the snow off himself, blinking. He scraped up some snow himself, standing, he dropped it down Hisoka's shirt, then grinned, and ran. As fast as he could.  
  
Hisoka cringed. ".Tsuzuki. . . You better run!" He packed another snowball together and smacked him in the back of his head by a long throw, not too hard that it would be painful though.  
  
Tsuzuki skidded to a stop, grabbing a handful of snow to make another snowball. He threw it at Hisoka.  
  
Even though he could easily avoid it, he just let it hit him. He threw a few more small ones, made in haste, at him.  
  
Tsuzuki ducked, but a few hit him anyways. He grabbed some more snow, threw another one at Hisoka, and then ducked behind a bench again.  
  
Hisoka jumped to the side and avoided his last throw, not wanting Tsuzuki to 'win' their little battle. He bent down to pick up more snow but by this point, his hands were growing numb and just holding it would be painful. He pulled his sleeve over his hand and packed it against his arm to at least get one last shot at him. We waited until he came out of cover before he threw it.  
  
Tsuzuki jogged over to Hisoka, having been hit with the snowball right in the face, he shook his head, the snow falling off it. His hair had some snow in it still though, but it didn't seem to bother him.  
  
Hisoka slowly walk up to him showing him that his hands were empty of 'weapons' and too his by the back of his collar. He then dragged him over to a huge pile of show and gently pushed him into it. It was his turn to run!  
  
"SO COLD!!!" Tsuzuki almost immediately jumped out of the snow pile, and then ran after Hisoka. "Get back here you!"  
  
Hisoka just ran faster. "I would like to see you catch me!" he taunted. "I'm not as slow as you think I am, Hisoka!" Tsuzuki said, speeding up slightly to catch up with him.  
  
Hisoka whined as he glanced back. He took a few sharp turns to throw him off. Tsuzuki still ran after him, getting closer to catching up. When Hisoka was close enough, Tsuzuki tackled him.  
  
Hisoka squinted his eyes and giggled. He was actually laughing. It was very sweet and quiet but rare to get out of him.  
  
Tsuzuki's eyes sparkled when he heard him. "I gotted you, 'Soka-chan. . ."  
  
"Grammar good is you, yes." He smiled as he weakly struggled to break from him, but he was not trying very hard.  
  
"Ooh no, I'm not letting you get away," Tsuzuki said, gently poking Hisoka in the stomach. "Tickle tickle. . ." he said, tickling Hisoka for a moment, just to see if he was ticklish.  
  
"Tsuzuki! No- stop!!" his struggle grew stronger to a slight thrash.  
  
"Ooh, are you ticklish?" he asked, although he was grinning. "I'm sorry."  
  
"No. . ." he lied, even though he even knew it was now obvious.  
  
"Then I suppose you won't mind if I do this," Tsuzuki said, lightly running his fingertips up Hisoka's sides.  
  
"Fine- I give up!" he pleaded, not being able to fight him off.  
  
"You can give up, but. . . I'm not done," Tsuzuki started to tickle him.  
  
"Please! I'll give you sugar- lots of it!" he gasped between laughs. He thought of a list of things he could name if sugar did not work.  
  
"I'll be nice," Tsuzuki said, and he stopped tickling Hisoka. His hands were tucked into the sleeves of his trench coat for warmth, and he still had some snow on him, some of it had melted though. His sleeve-covered hands were in the snow pile on either side of Hisoka. He smiled. "You're one of the last people I would have suspected to be ticklish, you know."  
  
"I never suspected you to take bribes ether," he said, referring to the sugar he had offered. "I hoped you would never find out. . ."  
  
"Yes. . . well," Tsuzuki got an innocent look. "Is Hisoka cold?"  
  
"Just my hands- the snow made them wet." He answered, being open with him. He wanted to avoid hurting him again.  
  
Tsuzuki lifted his covered hands out of the snow. He knocked any snow that was on the sleeves off, and moved his hands out of them. He took Hisoka's hands in his. "Cold hands, 'Soka-chan," he said, as he pulled Hisoka's hands close to himself, rubbing them gently. He used his hands to hold Hisoka's hands near his mouth, cupping his own hands and his as well; when he was breathing, it would help him warm up.  
  
He just blinked blankly.  
  
"I keep 'Soka-chan's hands warm," Tsuzuki said, voice slightly muffled. After a moment, he lowered their hands.  
  
Hisoka blushed, "T-thank you."  
  
"You're welcome," Tsuzuki said softly. Slowly he released Hisoka's hands. "You smell like happiness. Is 'Soka-chan happy now?"  
  
"I guess. . ." he answered. He had almost forgotten about his feelings until he mentioned it. "Wait- I smell like happiness?" he raised an eyebrow slowly.  
  
Tsuzuki laughed lightly, happy. "Yeah. Come on now," he got up then helped him after. "Want to go and get some hot chocolate or something?"  
  
"Only if Tsuzuki wants to. . ." he answered, not caring much.  
  
"Is 'Soka-chan sure he's happy?"  
  
He shrugged, "I think I am. . ." now he was not sure. He was happy moments ago. . . but that was only because he focused on making Tsuzuki happy. Now he was just confused.  
  
"Here," Tsuzuki dug around in his pockets until he found something. He glanced around to make sure nobody was looking, then opened a band-aid. He gently placed it on Hisoka, near where his heart would be, and gently cupped Hisoka's face in his hands and kissed Hisoka's forehead lightly. "There. I kiss it better," he said.  
  
Hisoka's cheeks burnt up with a blush that he failed to hide. "T-tsuzuki. . ." Tsuzuki tilted his head slightly, almost like a puppy. He didn't look happy, but he didn't look sad either. He just looked like he usually did when he was acting just plain cute and content.  
  
Hisoka walked closer to him and stood on his toes to reach around his neck. He hugged him softly without saying a thing.  
  
Tsuzuki was surprised, but he smiled slightly. He gently returned the hug from his younger partner, before pulling back gently to look at him. "Now, how about that hot chocolate?" He knew Hisoka would probably think he had a one-track mind, but, Tsuzuki was smiling, pleased with the hug, and his eyes were shining as they did when he was overly pleased with something. Hisoka sighed, annoyed but he smiled, "hot chocolate seems better by the second."  
  
"Ssankyou for the hug, 'Soka-chan," Tsuzuki said. "Come on, hot chocolate is one thing that I can make without messing up. . ." he flicked a piece of hair out of Hisoka's face lightly with a finger. "I still say you have pretty eyes."  
  
"Tsuzuki.?"  
  
"Yes, 'Soka-chan?" Tsuzuki asked, paying full attention to him, his mind not wandering to anything. not even sweets. Hisoka was one of the sweetest things Tsuzuki could ask for, after all. Hisoka did put up with him, and that was very sweet.  
  
".Don't call me 'Soka-chan."  
  
~*~*~  
  
Authors note:  
  
Don't ask where Tsuzuki got the band-aid from. It just appeared in his pocket. kinda like Hisoka's spoon O_o I know- I made Hisoka smile and laugh at one point. Well. who couldn't around Tsuzuki?! I hope you all liked this- please leave a review, even if you did not like it: I want to know what I can improve on so every comment is appreciated as long as it is not offensive. Don't forget the helpful help I gots from the helpful Ace of Time. Helpful, aint' she?  
  
HTML hates me. . . 


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